Kuert Adoption Update - Jan 2013

January 2013 marks the 30th month of our adoption journey. We are weary, but still hopeful. We wanted to let everyone know what has been going on, since so many of you have supported this adventure through your prayers and financial blessings. We are so grateful for all of you – our little girl is already blessed with love from hundreds of people!  

On March 31, 2012, we were officially ‘Logged In’. In adoption terms, this means that we had finally been added to the list of parents waiting to be matched with their children. Once you are logged in, you have the potential of receiving a match every month when the new list of available kids comes out. Our agency does the matching, and presents us with a child that matches our age & gender criteria. So…we were finally in the mix to receive a match once they found one. 

Ironically, something else interesting happened on March 31, that would turn our worlds upside down. We ran into some American friends of ours who live in Kunming, who had been fostering a little girl since she was two months old, and was now 18 months old. We had met this sweet girl on a few occasions, and discussed the possibility of adopting her with the foster parents. They were always very encouraging and hopeful that we would consider adopting her. The only reason we hadn't pursued her earlier is because we all thought she would be adopted really quickly, well before we even got logged in. However, after we chatted with her foster mom on March 31, and realized that she had still not been adopted, we walked away with an unexplainable confidence that God had orchestrated this scenario, and she would be our daughter. I can’t explain how certain we felt that this was right and that God had given us a miraculous gift. For the next 6 months, we told our agency to stop looking for matches for us, and to help us try to adopt this specific girl. Technically, you are unable to ‘choose’ your adopted child in this way, but sometimes agencies can make things work…and we just always believed it would. What we would come to learn is that this adoption process is even more unpredictable, painful and draining that we could ever know. 

From April to October of 2012, we brought this sweet angel into our home every week and began to love her as if she would be our child. Because there was never any guarantee that we would be able to adopt her, she continued to live with the foster family that had raised her, while we made frequent visits and took care of her often. There was no controlling the depth of love that we grew for her, and still have today. It was something we had never experienced and we let our hearts go for her – certain that one day she would be ours. 

Like I said above though…this adoption system can be extremely unpredictable and extremely painful. During the months that we built a relationship with her and grew a love for her, we worked closely with our agency to do every possible legal thing we could do to make this work. It was grueling. In the end, through dozens of circumstances that were just completely out of our control, we were told that it was impossible for us to adopt her, and she was matched with another family. Hearing this news was easily the most heartbreaking day that we have ever experienced. It felt as if we finally had a daughter, and she was taken right out of our hands. We questioned if we had truly heard from God, or if our hearts had just fallen too far in love too fast. Whatever it was, it hurt like nothing else. We were completely broken and at a loss for hope. God has begun to mend our hearts, but there is still a deep wound from our loss. We believe that we are part of her story, of her life…if even to just pray for her forever. 

In late October 2012, we told our agency they could once again be looking for ‘matches’ for us when the monthly lists come out. And that is where we currently are in our process…waiting for that ‘match’ that fits perfectly into our family. We know she is out there somewhere, and we know we have lots of love to give her. We never expected our journey to look like this, but we believe that God still has a beautiful ending for us, that includes a precious daughter from China. Please continue to pray for us, and for the little girl that will one day become ours. 

We have seen support for this adoption come in so many ways, and from so many people – it really has blessed us. We wanted to share this with you so that you can continue on this journey with us. Someday soon we will get the glorious news that we have a daughter – and we can hardly wait to share that with all of you!

finding the beauty

Sometimes I just need to remind myself of the beauty around us here...so today I want to give you a glimpse of some of the lovely and interesting things in our world here that make it so special to us.

water and wood

There are many things to love about living in China...one of those things is not traffic. I woke up the other day to a slighly louder than normal traffic buzz rising from the streets below. As I looked out the window, I saw 6 lanes of cars on a road built for 4 and various "flash" parking lots all along the route. The funny thing is, this was a bit louder than normal, but actually not all that bad of a situation. I've seen and experienced much worse. How much worse? Worse enough to have blurted out, "not on my watch" to a car trying to cut into my lane. Worse enough to have delivered numerous stink eyes and extended horn blasts on a 5 minute trip to the store. Worse enough to have entertained the thought, if ever so momentarily, of kicking a car. (Dan S and Dave J, my apologies for ever having judged you.) In all seriousness though, traffic has taught me something valuable about how our radically different cultures face the everyday annoyances of life, be they on the road or anywhere else. Another friend explained it simply as the difference between water and wood. Our Chinese friends flow like water deftly maneuvering around these obstacles without a second thought. They weave a way through even if it does seem a little unorthodox and takes them a little out of their way. We westerners cry foul and protest as we crash head-on into these situations demanding justice, a word which by the way can sometimes be used to make getting our own way sound a bit more noble. For us, in the end, either the obstacle is broken, or we are. Meanwhile, our Chinese friends are rounding the next bend.

A Better Future for Xiao Ling

Some of you have heard us talk about Xiao Ling in the past. Her mother owns a brothel in the countryside, and rather than make her daughter work in her own brothel when she turned 16, she sent Xiao Ling to our city to work at her aunt’s brothel instead. Because of Eden’s relationship with the aunt, she asked us to take Xiao Ling into our shelter and have her work at Eden instead of getting into prostitution. 

We have always been thankful that God spared this young girl from ever having to get into the hopeles life of prostitution. Since moving into our shelter, Xiao Ling has been enrolled in high school, has become a Christian and is doing amazingly well. She recently returned from a YWAM Discipleship Training School for high school students that took place in the Philippines, and she now wants to return there as a missionary some day! In addition, she is taking extra English classes at a local school here in town, and has been sharing her faith boldly with her teacher. I actually know her teacher, and she has been sharing with me that Xiao Ling is always telling her about her faith and even giving her reading materials about the Bible. I’m amazed to watch her already sharing Christ’s light to people around her - what a blessing it has been to see God grow in her life! 

new territory

I have always loved the idea of playing guitar and leading worship. The first time I ever had the courage to get up and be a part of the worship team was thanks to my brother- in-law, Jeff, when I was a summer intern in the youth group back home. I wasn't plugged in and I was lost most of the time, but it was fun anyway. Lacking courage and opportunities, I haven't played a lot since then. Then last year, I had a similar nudge from a friend in the international fellowship here in kunming. It all started with a "Singlish Corner" at his house. About 25 Chinese college students gathered to share songs and practice English. My contribution was "Be With You" by Mr. Big (big shout-out to all of the children of the 80's). For the record, it was supposed to be cheesy. After that night, my friend asked me to play with him the next time he led worship. I was nervous for sure but also so excited and we had a great time worshipping together with our church. After that I have become more and more involved at our fellowship leading worship once a month and helping other people step out. I have also begun to learn more Chinese songs and lead our house group each friday night. I even had the opportunity last month to do a kids worship workshop at our church! I am so excited to be used in this way. I can't explain the feelings of pure joy these experiences bring me and i’m so thankful that God is giving me these opportunities. I just wanted to share this blog now to encourage you. If you feel that God has given you a desire to serve Him in some way that seems beyond reach, don't be afraid to step out and do it! Don't worry about your ability or your qualifications. He can take what you have and use it in cool ways.

Bob & Windy

If you read our April newsletter, you had the treat of seeing Bob’s miraculous testimony. (if you haven’t read it yet, you really should!) The very same day that we emailed the testimony out to hundreds of family & friends back in the US, Bob and Windy’s home was broken into here in China. We could only conclude that this was an attack from the enemy trying to steal the joy of sharing Bob’s story and the effect we knew it would have. But God takes bad, and makes it so good!

We were on the phone with Windy for a long time the night of the break-in, as she waited for the police to check the house, get things back in order, etc. She was obviously shaken. In the end, however, not one thing was taken from their home! She had computers and cameras in a locked bedroom and the thieves didn’t even get into that room. In addition, Bob and Windy prayed together for the first time that night in their living room, and decided to set up a routine of praying together from that day forward. They not only prayed for their house to be protected, but they also prayed for the thieves to come to know Jesus and to be forgiven! She texted me to say ‘Bob and i have started to pray together. We love God so much now’. We were so moved to see God bring such beauty into their lives from such a scary situation. In addition, the following Friday during our bible study, Bob declared “satan can get into our house, but he cannot get into my heart and steal my joy".

scooters and starbucks

Food options at Starbucks are generally pretty lame, but starbucks in China takes this to a whole new level...

I missed lunch today while driving around trying to figure out where in the world to register my scooter. There is a new rule as of January 15th that every scooter in Kunming MUST have a blue registration plate. Tired of living on the lam, Elissa and I decided it was time to get registered today. There is, however a problem with this mandatory new law. No one, and i do mean no one, can tell me where to get it done. I went to 4 different police stations including the traffic department headquarters with similar results. On Jinshe Street they told me to go to Beijing Street where they told me to go to Xuefu street where they told me to go to Longquan street where i knew it wasn't so i went to Dianchi street where they pointed to a sign and told me to call a phone number to find out where to go...

...which brings me back Starbucks. Frustrated and hungry, I decided that dodging jonny law isn't so bad after all. What is bad is the sandwich i just ate here...ham, blueberry jelly, cheese and some yet to be identified white strips on spongy bread. All i can say is that it was a better option than the red bean filled croissant.